That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
