Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
