I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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