I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
