1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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