so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
