I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
