Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
