hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
