Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
