There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
