Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
