fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
