after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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