When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
