As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
