I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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