Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
