return my video game
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
