How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
