I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do vagina's smell?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
