elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
