I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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