id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
