dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
