The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This is the high leading the old right now
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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