try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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