I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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