well you can't waste a boner
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
