Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
