i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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