Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
