she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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