Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Thank you for not boning my boss.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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