Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
