i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
