I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
