worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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