No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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