You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
