You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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