When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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