Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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