there were more penises there than on chat roulette
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
