Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
