I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
