we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
