You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
bring money and cleavage
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
