If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
