Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
